


You should want better (and better isn't me)

by peanut_in_the_goal



Category: Sweater Weather - Lumosinlove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25795615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanut_in_the_goal/pseuds/peanut_in_the_goal
Summary: "I just want you to be happy… even if it isn’t with me"or, in whichLeo doesn't think he's good enough
Relationships: Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay, Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay/Leo Knut, Finn O'hara/ Leo Knut, Logan Tremblay/ Leo Knut, o'knutzy - Relationship
Kudos: 22





	You should want better (and better isn't me)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for beta @cute-little-mousie :) I appreciate it

Finn and Logan come back to the apartment to the sound of low sobs. Worriedly they glanced at each other before dropping their bags and rushing to the cause sound. They pass through the kitchen, noticing the burned broccoli on the stove, still in the pan. Logan takes note of the disheveled couch and blankets on top of it. The TV was left on, paused on what Logan thinks is the news.

Of course, Logan realized. Leo. He was the only one home. Oh god was he hurt? Was he okay?

“Leo?” Finn asked softly, knocking on his door. They got no response other than the sobs quieting a considerable amount. “Leo?’ Finn called again, a little louder this time. They could hear his breath shaking he tried to gain control of them.

“Can we come in? Please? Leo s'il te plait parle-nous.” Logan said. Trying to keep the panic out of his voice he added, “Don’t shut us out. Please love.” He went to open the door, unlocked he noticed.

“Leo we’re coming in.”

***

*Ding*

Leo smiled and checked his phone. It was another text from his boys. They had sent a picture of Logan kissing Finn on the cheek. “Miss you,” it said. Leo couldn’t help the way that it warmed his heart, he smiled. He took a long breath in, holding it, before letting it out.

He loved getting texts from his boys, especially when they were out of town. It was reassuring for him when they texted him. Like it was a reminder that they still wanted him around, that they still loved him.

Honestly, he knew that wasn’t the case, he knew they loved him. He loved them, just sometimes there was this voice. This nagging voice that tells him he isn’t good enough. Finn and Logan go way back, they have a history together. They went to college together for crying out loud. Part of him wonders why he thought this would ever work. Of course, they’d pick each other over him. 

All the times he’s woken up to them cuddled around each other, or when he had gotten home they’d be laying on each other on the couch, watching TV. Always seemed to be near each other, inseparable. He hated the pull he felt in his chest. The way he was letting that voice win, and believing it.

Leo could feel the sob building in the back of his throat, tears welling in his eyes.

“Merde,” he silently curses. He reaches out to brace himself with his arms on the counter, tears slipping down his cheeks. He lets out a sob and can feel himself crumbling. Slowly he sits against the cabinets sliding down to sit on the floor. 

He knows he shouldn’t feel this way, he knows he can trust them, but still, just the thought of the two boys he loves abandoning him starts a whole new wave of tears.

Slowly, with tears drying on his cheeks, he gets up turns the stove off, deciding he wasn’t going to eat tonight. His appetite was gone. He .blindly he navigates himself into his bedroom. Closing the door behind him, forgetting to lock it.

What feels like hours, but was only mere minutes pass, he hears the knocking and soft calls of Finn and Logan. He doesn’t know how to respond, how does he tell them? The two boys that love him and accept him, that he’s afraid of them abandoning him. How he could believe they could ever hurt him. 

So he doesn’t respond, instead, clenching his jaw, trying to control the hitching in his breath. He doesn’t know what to do with this feeling, He is so unbelievably grateful that he has these two amazing boys that are here to help him, and to care for him, but at the same time, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to take, if or when they decide they don’t want him anymore. He doesn’t think he’d be able to live with himself knowing he did something that made them not want him. 

His breathing picks up again, and he hears the door creak open.

***

Finn’s breath catches when he opens the door.

Leo’s laying in bed with his duvet pulled up and around his shoulders. His face is wet and blotchy, tear tracks on his cheeks. He startles when he sees them and immediately goes to wipe at his face.

“Baby,” Finn breathes. He and Logan seem to be snapped out of their trance and rush over to the bed. 

“Leo? Mon chou, qu’est-ce qui ne va pas?” Logan asked, cradling his face in his hands. His thumbs wiped at the tears, as he leaned forward to place a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Knut,” Finn sounded sad, his big brown eyes swimming in confusion and concern and love. Leo’s lips trembled, both of his hands coming to cover his mouth as he let out another sob.

“I— I’m sorry,” he stuttered, squeezing his eyes closed. “I—,” he broke off, his breath catching. 

“Shh,” Finn soothed, rubbing circles on his back. “Breathe Leo.”

Leo took a few shaky breaths, focusing on hands cupping his face. Slowly he blinked open his eyes, meeting the green ones in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” Logan prompted softly.

Leo’s eyes flickered between Logans and Finns, noting the way they danced in the light. It hurt him to think that he wouldn’t get to look at them all the time one day.

Carefully he put his hands over Logans and pushed them away. Logan’s breath hitched and let his arms hang down by his sides.

“I-if you w-want me to leave, I’ll l-leave,” Leo mumbled, looking at his lap.

“What?” Finn exasperated, his eyes going wide. “Leo we don’t want you to leave! D-do you want to leave?” he added, almost as if it was an afterthought. 

Leo’s head snapped up to look at him, his head shaking frantically.

“N-no. No! I just want you to be happy… even if it isn’t with me.” he said. He was crying hard again.

“Leo,” Logan said softly, going to stroke a hand in his hair. Tears were threatening to fall in the corners of his eyes. “Je suis content. Tu rends me heureuse.” 

Leo looked up with a watery smile.

“Really? Y-you really want me?”

Finn made a low, sad sound from the back of his throat. 

“Leo… Why would you even think that? We want you. We love you. We need you.”

Leo looked at him, eyes flitting over his face. 

“Why?” He asked. Another sob ripped its way from his throat. “W-why do you even l-love me?” he stuttered.

“What?!” Logan all but yelled. “Leo! Que volez-vous dire? Je t’aime. Nous t’aimons. Don’t doubt that for a minute. Okay?” He ran his thumb over Leo’s trembling bottom lip, and then down his jaw. He pressed a hard, firm kiss to his lips, before repeating the question. “Okay? Tu comprends?”

Leo nodded his head, a smile tugging at his lips and Finn pulled him into a hug. 

“Oui, I understand.” He pulled Logan in to join the hug. “Thank you, mes amours.”


End file.
